top 5 best things about being home in michigan

5. small spiders...seriously, those monsters in vancouver must be on crank

4. cheap golf (with my good buddy craig playford)...great courses here for almost no money

3. my imac (why did i ever leave you, baby - you know daddy loves you)

2. my trailer-trash above ground pool (p.s. only i am allowed to make fun of my pool...if you make fun of it i'll drown you in 5,000 gallons of toddler pee)

1. i'm still not dieting